Ever catch yourself saying sorry for things that don’t need an apology? Like having an opinion, asking questions, or just existing in a room?
If you’ve been apologizing for your presence, shrinking yourself to make others comfortable, or making yourself smaller when you should be taking up more space… this episode will help you break those patterns for good.
In this episode of Being Relatable, host Erica Castner chats with Kelly Thawley and Erica Simpson, two accomplished leaders who’ve learned to own their space unapologetically and stop diminishing themselves in professional settings.
MEET OUR PANELISTS:
- Kelly Thawley – Micro-credential and Workforce Programs Coordinator at Florida Gulf Coast University (10+ years in workforce development)
- Erica Simpson – College Professor (20+ years), Marketing/Business Communication expert, and founder of fashion blog “Try Hard to Be Pretty.”
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
- How to catch yourself apologizing for things that don’t require apologies
- The mindset shift from “I don’t belong here” to “I own this room.”
- Why persistence and consistency eventually earn respect
- How to choose the right tables and find your people
KEY TIMESTAMPS:
- 3:20 – Kelly’s awareness moment about apologizing unnecessarily instead of saying “excuse me.”
- 8:15 – Erica’s beer festival story: from shrinking in the first meeting to owning the second
- 15:42 – Kelly discusses taking up space and speaking up when “this is how we’ve always done it.”
- 20:30 – Erica’s strategy for overcoming the habit of being inconspicuous in professional settings
- 25:18 – Kelly’s approach to handling criticism about her blue hair and being “too much.”
- 29:45 – Erica’s advice on why we apologize for our success and how to stop
- 35:22 – HYPE SESSION: Celebrating Kristen Vancello and Joy Hambrick for lifting others up
QUOTABLE MOMENTS:
- “Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter. You get to choose what table you want to sit at.”
- “Act like you deserve to be in that room… those actions can come before the beliefs. Eventually, if you keep acting like that, you’re going to believe it.”
ACTION STEPS TO TAKE AFTER LISTENING:
- Identify one area where you’ve been shrinking yourself and commit to taking up more space
- Stop deflecting credit for your work and start saying “thank you” instead of “it was a team effort”
WOMEN WE’RE HYPING UP:
- Kristen Vanselow – Assistant Vice President at FGCU for Innovative Education and Partnerships, leading change in higher education and making it accessible to adult learners (nominated by Kelly)
- Joy Hambrick – Dean of the School of Business and Professional Studies, an economist building an empire by making economics relatable and helping women with finances (nominated by Erica)
CONNECT WITH OUR PANELISTS:
RATE + REVIEW
If this episode helped you stop apologizing for taking up space, leave a review wherever you listen to Being Relatable. Your review helps other women find the courage to own their presence.
STAY CONNECTED
Follow host Erica Castner on LinkedIn for behind-the-scenes content and more conversations about building authentic relationships in work, life, and leadership.
Ready to stop apologizing for existing? Remember: you have the right to be here, to have ideas, to experience success. Own who you are and take up the space you deserve. Get Erica’s Weekly “Pep Talks” directly to your inbox HERE!
